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15 of February '23

The column is from the 11|22 A&B.

"There have been unforeseen complications.„ "Reality has suffered a sudden setback.” "This is an overly complex issue.„ "It can't be explained so simply.” "My marital status? It's complicated...„ "Oh, this is so sophisticated!” These and similar sentences come to us more and more often from all sides. Your child pushed another in the sandbox? He or she is definitely on the Asperger's spectrum or sensory integration deficit, ocular muscular hypofunction with syndrome... er... Woland and Behemoth. At the earliest opportunity you should visit a garland of specialists, 160 to 250 pln per visit.

Can't handle serious relationships? Like nothing you are a victim of your parents' omission, ignorance or bad psychological practices. Your mother in the 70s spoiled you too much, let you suck on the pacifier for too long, which on top of that took a toll on the configuration of your dentition, your father was too bony and absent-minded, you know, career-wise or in general tried to bring home the dutchess. And on top of that, he used to beat your bottom with a belt, because he thought it was a cure for the seals and hooligan antics, and again it is known that parents are responsible for the damage committed by children. A ball in the glass of a neighbor's window. A red bottom from a spanking. Trauma for life.

Or you have trouble focusing on the fine-printed contracts, circulars and instruction manuals. Certainly the impact of the Polish education system, from elementary school to university. Nights of cussing, trembling hands and reddened eyes before a paper, test, test and exam. Coffee, redbul, squats and amphetamines. Today you take in the ruler-clad fingers of the draft agreement and your eyes seem to see nothing, and your brain does not read, does not understand and only prays for a vacation. Plus a suspicious slippery excitement at the memory of the wavy breasts of the teacher in a tight mohair sweater, when she gave you those times with a ruler. And that darkish puff under your nose. Sweat on the forehead, soft legs.

By the way: in your sex life is not going well? Partner/partner lusts not satisfied? Do you not satisfy them yourself? You are tormented by remorse, whether what gives you pleasure is within the norm, which was openly talked about, especially not at all? Or not talked about at all. „How do you touch yourself Saint Francis cries!”, admonished the catechist of inflamed middle school students in Fellini's „Amarcorda”. How to have a sex life at all, I ask myself, as a man returns from work like a zombie and, chewing bread, only thinks about escaping into sleep at a kitchen table with a melamine-finished countertop. How to taste the flesh of a spouse, fiancée or lover when inflation, bills, Social Security and RODO? Wisłocka outdated and not enough, you listen to lectures from SWPS on audiobooks, buy „Characters” surreptitiously at the kiosk, maybe even try to talk to other people, but with whom to talk so that there is no trace. With strangers in Wars? You end up getting acquainted with the psychosexual content on Only Fans. N "est-ce pas?

Ladies and gentlemen, it will be no revelation to anyone that one's reality is getting more and more complicated, and that what is supposed to make life easier only moves the domino of further actions, activities and further complications. Man is not enough, or, as my neighbor says, "not enough." The modern citizen must constantly choose, because the world provides millions of alternatives. And how many of them are falsehoods and illusions. To choose anything, you need to get educated, ask around, compare offers, study case studies. What private school to choose for your child, because the public, will take us back to the communism of the black version. Or maybe there are some good public ones, rumor has it, only where are they? We are looking for a job, but after all, so many variables need to be analyzed: scope, hours, salary, packages, shares, bonuses, fleet car model and software on the company laptop. To the doctor we would have to finally, but first hours of consultations with friends and family, whether he will not make us into costs, whether he will not send us to the grave too soon, and whether he is good at all? Should we buy or rent an apartment? How to buy, where and how, what kind of credit, who will give this credit, where to put your own contribution, secondary or primary market? In the contract, ravens to catch and in small print traps under the text written down to trace. How to buy it and pick it up, with a bucket to come, pour water on the terrace tiles, whether it flows, a ball on the steel screed to let it fall to the wall. A person opens the news, and there only complications pour out, a three-dimensional tree of dependence, this one greased this one, that one's company that one, and that one's company bugged that one, and that one assured that he is a patriot, and that one is a scumbag, and that one is a scumbag, and that's it.

So the modern citizen must have not only knowledge, extensive and deep, but also reflexes and flexibility. A ping-pong sense and the flexibility of a choreographer, which not only knows how, but can bend himself accordingly. Because Poles have less and less time for analysis, decision, action and reaction. There is nothing worse than to come out of a meeting with an esprit d "escalier or to be framed by years of unwanted dependence. Then there are the added complications and analysis: divorces, broken contracts, contractual and contingency costs.

Fortunately, it's simple in politics. Nothing needs to be studied. Nothing to strategize about. Conclusions don't need to be derived too much either. It is enough to believe and remember what the signs-flags, party names, faces and names of leaders-look like. If they say something, let's take it for good coin, why bring additional problems on our heads. Who has time to figure out what the guy at the pulpit meant by that? The domino of consequences is none of our business, the responsibility is always on the side of the latter. We don't even have to discuss or argue with anyone, because all that's left around are those with whom we share general beliefs, without getting into the details. And the lady on the cage, which is clearly "not ours" we half-heartedly say „good morning” while rolling our eyes. It is known, an old idiot. Once you know, as one is used to, who ours and who not, it is best to make it even simpler, or, I know, difficult word, binary. We — white, they — black. Good — evil. Truth — untruth. Pretty — not pretty. Patriot — traitor. Why complicate our lives with nuances?

Therefore, in this terrible, increasingly twisted world, I will vote for those who simplify life. What do not get fooled by the magic of alternatives, because elections are wool over the eyes. I will not waste my life on comparative analysis and long-term strategies. I will assume that there is only one option and that it works therapeutically. That it will send me to a simpler future, where the good things are those that are available at all, and the true words are those that are spoken, because no one dares to speak the others. I will do what everyone else does and at the same time, eat the same things and enjoy the same things. Krakowska, pedet, cooperative block, blue glass from TVs and wigry 3, not some google, miser peel, comparison and search engines. All this training and how foreign languages of foreign, for worse colored and not in our language dressed peoples. It will be a simple life!

Jakub Szczęsny

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