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Bigness in bigos

06 of May '21

Source: Grand Designs - A&B 05/2021


The Central Transportation Port, the hole in the Vistula Spit, the new districts of Krakow and Wroclaw - all these "big projects" pale in the face of the challenge for the whole country. There is a really big project to be done: the New Disorder.

Among the numerous conspiracy theories, I have yet to come across one according to which the lobby of architects and builders would be behind the pandemic. Strange, because when we ask cui bono?, the possibility of such a conspiracy is hinted at by the insane number of office buildings and houses being erected during the covidu, as well as by soaring real estate prices.

The fact that the media is quiet about these plots by architects and investors, that not even such skilled whistleblowers as Mariusz Max Kolonko and Edyta Górniak have squealed about them, is probably due to the great cunning of the conspirators. Who like anyone, but architects and builders have a centuries-old tradition in this field. We know well from whom Freemasonry derived its movement.

In Poland, the conspiracy has achieved mastery, as designer organizations have for years posed as clumsiness and lack of major influence, to the point that even factual commentators are fooled. Recently, Piotr Zbierajewski let himself be made into a horse. In his text for A&B[On the condition of the architectural profession in the context of the earnings of young architecture students], he referred to the all-powerful SARP as a "club of architects." Instead, he reduced the Chamber to a chamber (that's a diminutive already from me) handing out licenses.

A club or a chamber, it is well known, can't do much, and here - according to the conspiracy theory revealed above - their members are quietly milking the pandemic cow and pulling the strings at the highest levels. After all, it's no coincidence that the government's New Deal includes pledges of support for housing. More orders for the industry! For the sake of inconspicuousness, there was also something in the New Deal about "urban planning standards," but it's sort of quieter now, it'll probably be lost, like most of the government's undertaking anyway.

How can we be sure? First: it's this government, not another. Secondly, it is difficult to have a new order in Poland, since we have not particularly experienced the old one - not only in urban planning, but in any field in general. Third, the order as such is taken rather declaratively. For example, seven years ago a TNS Poland survey found that three-quarters of compatriots wanted to limit outdoor advertising, while at the same time the same percentage would hang a banner on their house if they got the equivalent of a month's salary for it. Checkmate, rascals.

More than once I have also heard from very different people about their sympathy for Polish chaos. This is openly said by average Kowalskis, there are councilmen and politicians, also some architects affirm the native disorder - not only in word, but also in deed. Peculiarly all groups, while praising their native spatial bigos, take German cities, towns and villages as the boy to beat. Because too equal, too decent, too logical. Zero fantasy, boring as hell. No-life - as a former city councilor of Poznan once declared to me after a few years spent across the Oder. What is there to say, by the way: the writer Szczerek has already done it many times - sympathizing with his mess-loving compatriots, pinching Springer for his decent strings and explaining why, in a Poland teetering between civilized Ruritania and wild Borduria, Western-style order is and will remain a lost cause.

All is not lost, however. Let's return to our conspiracy theory. Since I managed to cast a covid shadow of suspicion on the architects, the organizations that associate them should refute the theses of their pandemic conspiracy. With what to divert attention? That's what Grand Designs is for. Maybe it's worth showing that SARP and the Chamber can act resiliently and openly to repair the national space. Yes, they happen to do this or that for this purpose, but the project to divert attention must be great, only then will it break through to the media and the public. With a program and a name that will grab the hearts of the distraction-loving Polish people. [...]

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